It snowed today. It snowed all across the east coast, apparently. Pittsburgh added its own typical flavour to the weather, of course, and there wasn't an appreciable amount of snow on the ground. Instead, you should go outside sometime soon and appreciate something else in life - it will make you happier, and also encourage the snow to show up again.

Sometimes one just has to put enough effort into something before it can click and start working, though until then it may seem fruitless. The snow will accumulate eventually, I am sure. (Here's hoping it's before I leave pittsburgh!)

the most interesting things are discovered in the small hours of the morning, but they are always accompanied by unpleasant circumstances.

yesterday afternoon was spent on several frustrated attempts to grok the language in which the final clogic assignment was to be implemented. the actual productivity that happened around then actually had a lot more to do with 412. after midnight or so, I actually got about half the points' worth of clogic done, amidst complaints that whoever came up with the syntax of the lollipop operator ("-o" in lollibot, the language) was intentionally trying for the most alien symbolism possible, and that there should be some standard for which directions inferences go when written down and that trees do in fact always have their roots at the top and grow down. this finished around 0400

finished the last ptrp assignment, by which i mean, 45% of it, and handed it in. this was at around 0800 or so - slightly before which I discovered that Tazza has freshly baked pastries just after opening time, and also various notions of life being completely wonderful (possibly related!), and just after which I paid a visit to jboning and company in the 5207 cluster. thereafter I returned to the Mystery Science Cluster 3000, attempted to parse the rest of the constructive logic, but realized it was not going to happen. I then - at 0930 - scrawled a note on the whiteboard saying "Under no circumstances should I be allowed to be asleep after 1130" and lay down on a beanbag.

After finishing the third quarter of clogic's points starting at 1128 I went to clogic lecture and proceeded to spend most of the time there doing the final problem, which was actually a really cool and interesting thought exercise.

213 had a review session in place of lecture, which I went to and multitasked reviewing for the students and teaching myself how to run proxylab interviews. Immediately afterwards I simultaneously conducted a proxy interview (just outside the room I'd intended, since it was used for a surprise kernel interview at the same time) and issued an email announcing that my office hours, conveniently at the exact same time, had moved to my proxy interview location. I also offered extended office hours as an apology for the relocation, and the last dude from office hours has just departed with the best help I was able to give him in my state; i.e., not much.

I am however now past everything that I have on my todo list, besides 412 project and exams. If only I were running on enough sleep to be able to appreciate it.

congratulations to everybody who did more impressive things than me for this month! your dedication has been admirable.

thinking of something to say every day was an interesting exercise. some days are just not cut out for it though. however, I estimate that I'm likely to more often find things to say than before.

( also it appears I posted pictures exactly 2/3 of the time )

I succeeded at making this thanksgiving break relaxing despite the prospect of spending the whole time around my family. today I made a fatal mistake: not eating at all until arriving again in pittsburgh, at which point I hit up kivers han and subsequently went to the cluster and promptly crashed very hard. two or more meals a day is generally advised.

the last drawing challenge was a huge success, by which I mean three people were brave enough to take five minutes out of their day for this great activity.

I was talking with sully about kernels today and misread "tid hashmap" as "tid hamster". this makes me want to see pictures of such a thing. (maybe I will make cookies for the person who draws the best one!) if you like, you can be not-quite-accurate: a scheduling hamster, pagetable hamster, lockdep hamster, or filesystem hamster would also be acceptable.

today was spent touring chocolate stores in new york. (this was not my idea I promise!) the best one was vosges - their store has the same attitude and atmosphere as you would think it would from their products. other than that, the whole city has a stifling air of consumerism about it, that evokes in me a deep discomfort - to the point where I became noticeably more at ease for a minute when I passed a coffee shop with a chalk-written sign out front. walking through the whole area made me appreciate a lot more the culture of the area I call my home.

a shirt in the vosges store that I would happily wear but for the cost read "shiva; destroyer of evil, lover of cacao"

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. [Edward Sandford Martin]

Among the things that I'm thankful for: that I'm able to spend my life around people that I love and who love me, and that I'm able to do the things that I love doing.

My grandmother had a good thankfulness speech. She said she was thankful for the things we have that make life easier that we never think about: our vision, our legs, our hands - that let us do things that we take for granted. So, next time you have the opportunity, do something that you wouldn't be able to do without sight or locomotion or dexterity, and think about what life would be like without it.

this is the error code you get when your shampoo and toothpaste are too big for airport regulations.

"Couldn't carry on."

I have withdrawn from Human Memory. After just a few minutes after proposing the idea to Mark, he had me realizing that there was in fact no reason not to do it - specifically, it is only good for free elective units anyway and I already have enough that I could easily graduate in two more semesters if I wanted to. As predicted, and as always, that man has worked wonders on my mood.

Once again I find myself carrying an absurdly smal number of units, not counting TAing - a year ago, I dropped 15-359 midway through 410 p2, bringing me to 39 units; last semester, I attempted to do FLAC before realizing I was missing so many of the homeworks, and dropped it, taking me to 42 units. This semester, I am not actually in any 12-unit courses, so after dropping my fifth class I have 36 units. Something has happened since freshman year, evidently, when I was able to do 50+ unit semesters without breaking a sweat - perhaps it is that TAing 213 is more "invisible units" than I'm giving them credit for; perhaps it's something more.

I found myself doubting this sort of thing just now - something along the lines of I should be getting more out of each semester; there will be so many classes that I could have taken that get neglected. As an example, gwillen said once that he considered no education truly complete until one had taken 18-447 (which is like the 15-410 of the ECE department - "design a processor"), and that not taking it was one of his big regrets. It is the sort of thing I would like to do, but have only three semesters left, with already several things for each of them. Perhaps this is too ambitious, but that sort of thought exemplifies ambition that I admire in several of my friends, and I'm not sure what to do with it in myself.

Regardless: I no longer have to feel guilty about missing reading psychology papers every monday and wednesday, and I don't have to worry about rearranging a 3/8 rough draft term paper into a foo/12 final draft. With one less thing gnawing at me, I find myself a lot more relaxed about the still countless things I have to worry about doing.

( copper remains shiny as long as you run your fingers over it )

an idea just occurred to me. a few days ago at abay it was discussed that there are spices (term used loosely) that go well with a maximal number of foods - wjl asserted that butter goes with pretty much everything. just now I was thinking about how cayenne goes well with chocolate, and with chili, but not with, say, breakfast cereal. however, bananas and strawberries go with breakfast cereal, each of which goes well with chocolate, and so on.

my challenge to you is therefore this: come up with two food items which are separated by the most degrees of "this goes well with that". for purposes of making this appropriately difficult, I shall impose two restrictions: one, "goes well with" must mean the two items must be put together in the same dish, not just served next to each other (like, chicken and broccoli can't be linked that way); two, the following food items are forbidden from use: butter, salt, pepper, cayenne EDIT: and cinnamon and cheese and garlic; bread and pasta and rice - for obvious reasons.

[also, I'm still waiting on drawing submissions for a grocery isle.]

I have developed a way of thinking that is extremely soothing in situations where you've done something silly. Let's suppose for lack of a less embarrassing example that I just made a batch of cookie dough, but accidentally set the oven for 500 degrees instead of 350, thereby botching the ingredients. I would then think, "oh, that batch of dough was secretly meant to not make cookies, and I just now discovered it." It's better to be happy about getting out alive than to mope over how you stopped being able to get away without ever getting the short end of life's stick.

today was spent grading malloclabs. I am over 3/4 done with them, but with no advances in productivity on anything else. a nontrivial amount of time today was spent worrying about all the various things that were issuing me inputs - among them, I eventually pinpointed two of them that I knew would be exceptionally good for me: the first was making chili, which has happened already and soothed my stress greatly (and deliciously!); the second is meeting with mark on tuesday.

among the things that will be discussed on tuesday: further stuff about the potential systems masters' program, as mentioned previously; also, the possibility of dropping Human Memory given that I don't need it for anything anymore if I decide to go through with a math minor instead of a psych minor. if I had to make a decision right now, it would be for dropping it, but I want to get everything straightened out before doing so.

"One must first deal with the way they deal with the way they deal with the world before they can hope to adequately deal with the world."

I keep telling myself I need to start keeping a written journal to better organize my thoughts. I'm not sure how much clearer it would make my mind overall, but laziness has prevailed so far.

( the layout of this scene seems oddly familiar )

I realized yesterday that it's possible to be as happy as you want about any given thing in your life - whether it is holding a loved one in one's arms, or walking to and from campus, or even simply reading oneself to sleep in bed alone at night. Some of these I am good at, some I am not; some require more energy than others. It seems to me that life is about becoming good at all of them.

The general attitude of GHC3000 seems to be that the place is even more so our home than 5207 was. Probably this is because of the attitudes that the new cluster comes with - complete freedom to eat food inside, etc - and the sort of space it occupies - larger and more open than 5207, and also more central to a lot of campus.

Earlier today evilwombat entered the cluster and announced that there was free food a minute's walk away, and ten or so people went literally running out out of the cluster to get it. When we got there, a woman overseeing what was presumably the wrapping up of whatever event the food was for gave a reaction isomorphic to "Oh, God, it's the CS majors! Take whatever you want, but please spare the women and children!" It felt like we were some sort of primitive or medieval society, taking what would benefit us by force of numbers. Granted, that is how we've always worked, but with the new cluster as our home, moderation seems to be lowered a considerable amount.

EDIT: There are some complaints I have, though. There are no printers in the entire building that I can lpr to, though there are random standalone ones on the upper floors. The abundance of fluorescent lights in the cluster put me to sleep, as always. The curved walls occasionally surprise people when they walk into the focal point and hear everything at once. The building is structured such that to get to the stairs or elevator, you have to either walk three times as long as the distance between your start and goal, or go up and down a staircase. The cluster chairs are completely impossible to sit in comfortably, so I most frequently opt for a beanbag when I can, of which there are two. Finally, there currently is a note on the whiteboard: "Dear Cluster, There are showers in this very building. Please do your part to keep the cluster fragrant."

( we did something clever today )

I have lately started reading in bed just before sleeping, instead of the previously attempted internet algorithm. This remarkably simple activity does wonders for my mental balance, helps to reset my mind and keep focus for the new day, and collect my mood at the end of the previous one. Highly recommended.

A talk with Mark today yielded a lot of potential options and a good amount of negative stress. As it turns out, Satya and company have in the works a systems-focused fifth-year masters' program for CS. Involved classes would be 15-712 and 15-610, plus probably electives, and (here's the really cool part) instead of pure research, which is not entirely fitting for "people who want to build systemsy stuff" (as Mark put it), the program would involve having the student working on a big important project in a sort of cooperative arrangement with a company such as Intel or Google. This would be essentially ideal for me, though it's not clear if it will pull through all the way yet.

My schedule for the following semester looks as follows:
MWF 0900: 15-610 "Eng Cmplx Lg Cmp Sys" (by Satya)
TR 0900: 15-221 The Dreaded Tech-Comm
TR 1030: 15-417 [drop it like it's] HOT Compilation
TR 1330: 85-310 Research Methods in Cognitive Psychology (?)
MWF 1030: 21-355 Real Analysis (?)
M ???? : 15-213 TAing

610 and techom go hand-in-hand, since they both appear to refrain from being at any sort of reasonable time, and if I am to do both of them, I may as well get both of them out of the way at the same time, that there may be only one semester in which I have to perform sleep schedule acrobatics. With such a class schedule, I should be able to pull off a bimodal sleep schedule, in which I swap my earliest 4 hours of awake time and latest 4 hours of sleep time - it would take some effort, but I know I can do it, since it happened on accident during my senior year of highschool.

I've been planning to do HOT since signing up for clogic this semester.

As it turns out, for a psych minor (which I'd been vaguely planning on) I will be needing lots more classes, and for a math minor - which I asked about out of curiosity - I need two more classes: real analysis, and one other elective. The idea I came up with upon hearing that was to do a math minor instead of a psych minor, with a disorganized splash of psych classes. The research methods class is needed for psych, but also fulfills a lab requirement for CS; experimental fishsticks, done last fall, if I take research methods, instead gets counted as science instead of lab, so I could easily drop research methods upon deciding to abandon the psych minor, but would then need a science class. Hence, research methods and real analysis are at this juncture interchangeable, and I'm not sure which one I want to do.

today was subpar as far as mondays go. being already in the "monday fugue", I found myself in a fragile state on several occasions today: multiple times, certain interactions with people shattered the positive energy I had built up for being useful, and left me in a frustrated state for several hours afterwards. I have a heavily loaded week ahead of me, and so am going to need to keep my focus. for example, this evening needs to be spent doing the week's AI homework, but that cannot be started until after a nap, which is necessary for getting back on track.

very often when I have things to do, I will goof off in an attempt to feel better, but be plagued by guilt over not being productive, and will emerge feeling worse than before. instead, I aim to do either a set scheduled time of unproductivity or unbounded working at any given time this week; the former for efficient unwinding and the latter for, well, being useful. I am sure there are several of you out there who are in similar states as me (especially with the kernel project finished) - it is critically important that you take some time - an hour or two - during your evenings or afternoons for the upcoming days to do something for yourself: go for a walk, or read a book.

with extra pictures, it is just as if I had written a real post, right?

today, after going climbing with several mans from cohort 2.0, we went to the east end food co-op to acquire deliciousness. our house being nearly out of peanut butter, I went to get some more: they had none of the regular-size containers, so I used a large one. there was something immensely satisfying about spooning huge quantities of a viscous substance into a big cup. I hypothesized while at the bus stop that if everybody in the world went once a month to ladle peanut butter, the world would be a better place (just as I finished saying that, some car made a bad turn and somebody honked aggressively at him: "...and shit like that wouldn't happen.").